Well, where to begin?! I have so much running through my mind right now that I could probably vomit a tangled mass of words onto paper and somehow it seems like it would all just make sense. I have recently gained clarity about some things in my personal life as well as my business and I really want to share that with you. I have actually been struggling for a while now with my faith, asking serious questions about whether God really exists, why He allows bad things to happen in this world, etc, etc. For about the last seven months since I nearly died when my lungs decided they did not want to provide my body with oxygen anymore, I have been trying to figure things out on my own. Though the entire time I knew in my mind that He never left me, I felt like I had been abandoned and left sick to suffer. I had been experiencing sickness for over a year at that point with trouble breathing though I had tried everything to get better….both alternative medicine and traditional medicine had failed me and I just couldn’t figure out why. I was tired and exhausted and angry. My emotional health was terrible as my marriage took its toll as did the stress of daily life with three kids and my illness. I felt like a hypocrite because here I am telling others how to be healthy but I couldn’t figure it out for myself.
During the last seven months, I ignored the Spirit telling me to return to Him. I ignored the Spirit saying that I was meant for something big and let my own bitterness get in the way. A lot of things have fallen into place in the last couple of weeks that have led me to this place of peace and understanding- probably the biggest being the leap of faith I took when I signed up for a teleclass for writers from Sandi Krakowski, a Christian entrepreneur noted by Forbes to be in the top 20 of social media influencers. Everything Sandi said on that call was as if she was speaking directly to me. She has used her business ARealChange.com to glorify God and has inspired me to listen to the calling that I had been given before and ignore to finally do the same.
While my lungs have still not made a full recovery and I struggle daily to feel like I am going to win the war on whatever it is plaguing them, I have a new spark that’s been ignited in me that brought hope and peace and clarity and knowledge with it. I have decided that I am not going to ignore my calling anymore and that I am turning over my life to Him. I feel like I have been lead to glorify God through Natural Apple Holistic Health and that is what I’m going to do! I will not worry any longer what others will think about me because of my beliefs. I will not worry any longer about what others think about who I am. I am not living for anyone but Him and my family- and I will put our needs above all else.
As I’m writing this, tears are streaming down my face because I have been told to follow Him and let my story come out and I was too afraid until now. I am so thankful that God did not give up on me and that I have finally stop letting doubt get it the way.
I choose life. I choose happiness. I choose health. I choose to follow the God of all creation. I choose to follow the path that He has carved out just for me. I choose to follow my dreams that He has put into my heart and to dream BIG. I choose blessings and above all to appreciate those blessings even during the times of sadness. I choose to let my heartsong flow, loud enough for everyone to hear His praise.
Psalms 96:1-9: Sing to the LORD a new song; Sing to the LORD, all the earth. Sing to the LORD, bless His name; Proclaim good tidings of His salvation from day to day. Tell of His glory among the nations, His wonderful deeds among all the peoples. read more.For great is the LORD and greatly to be praised; He is to be feared above all gods. For all the gods of the peoples are idols, But the LORD made the heavens. Splendor and majesty are before Him, Strength and beauty are in His sanctuary. Ascribe to the LORD, O families of the peoples, Ascribe to the LORD glory and strength. Ascribe to the LORD the glory of His name; Bring an offering and come into His courts. Worship the LORD in holy attire; Tremble before Him, all the earth.
I pray blessings on anyone reading this and know that if this is your story or similar to your story, you can release the anxiety, the fear or the mental anguish.that is holding you back from living the life that He has planned for you. Even if it’s not your story, if you are reading this, may you be blessed and know in your heart where those blessings came from. Listen to the voice that tells you to stop believing the lies of the world!
No, everything has not magically gotten better in the last couple weeks, but I can say that I have a new outlook on what “better” means. My marriage is stronger than ever which my children are definitely benefiting from, my health is improving and most importantly the chains of spiritual oppression have been broken! The cloud of darkness has been lifted ~ I have been set free.
Psalm 116:16: Truly I am your servant, LORD; I serve you just as my mother did; you have freed me from my chains.